Tuesday. bullet points.

*the picture really has nothing to do with this post but they are my kids and i think they are cute :)
*i am ok. good in fact. i know my last few posts have been a leeeettle bit heavy and depressing and negative. we'll just call that The Dark Period. and it is over. nothing a little bit of sunshine couldn't fix.
*it's still been raining here. a lot. but luckily it feels a tiny bit more spring like simply because the days/hours in between the rain have been dotted with sunshine. like liquid gold, i tell ya! fog is just depressing and oppressing, man.
*i have been focused. very, very focused (obsessive almost) the last 15 days. part of the 'slap in the face reality check' i got in my last post was the scale. ugh. i finally bought a bathroom scale. i got on it. and it was not pretty. like, i almost fainted when i saw the number. i probably threw up in my mouth a little bit. it was bad. i mean, i knew things were fitting a little tight....but seeing the actual number about brought me to my knees. it did bring me to tears.
*i went straight out and joined weight watchers and bought the 30 day shred dvd. I've been hitting my points, and 'shredding it' for the past 15 days. Sometimes i do the shred dvd 2ce a day and pilates in between. i'm insane, aren't i?? i think it's called desperate.
*i've lost 6lbs so far. many, many more to go. i'm not telling how many. but i'll let you know when i get there.
*we went to a really fun super bowl party on sunday. i kinda didn't really want to go. well, i did. i just thought i wasn't going to want to stay the whole time. turns out my social anxiety lost out and i had lots of fun. and didn't want to go when the game was over. :)
*there were a couple people there that i knew of, but didn't really know personally. and i will totally admit my judging a book by it's cover. i am soooo guilty of doing that. you know how women can be. turns out things aren't always what they seem. (DUH!) and i met two really nice people.
*during the game the kids were outside playing and riding motorcycles. (it's still light here when games come on!)
*right before Christmas we were at a friends house riding motorcycles and while Jake really liked it, he was super scared to do it on his own. sunday i was sitting in the house watching the game. i knew the kids were ridding, but i had no idea what Jake was doing. (i'm a great mother!) anyway, i stepped out onto the front porch to watch and all of a sudden i see my kid blazing sown the street all by himself! i could not believe it! it looked like he'd been doing it his whole life.
*now for the past 2 days he has talked about nothing except riding motorcycles. and when is he going to get his own motorcycle? and when can he go back to auntie kim's to ride the motorcycle?
*i think we've created a monster.

And that's about it. well, there is more..but i'm thinking it may require it's own post and i need to gather my thoughts on it a little more before writing.
Happy Tuesday.

It has a pretty crummy week. I'm not even entirely sure why, but I know some of it has to do with being slapped in the face by reality more times than I'd like to admit. I got some big time wake up calls and it left me irritated, confused and well....kind of mad and sad. I found my self letting every little thing get under my skin. My poor children. They were yelled at and told to "knock it OFF" way more than they should have. It was one of those weeks where you find yourself sitting in your car in the Kinko's parking lot, slamming your hands on the steering wheel, throwing your phone to the ground and having a big ugly cry about a stupid text message. And then driving all the way home, sobbing the entire way. All while your 3 year old sits in the back seat saying "it's ok mommy, don't cry...don't be sad". And then that just makes you cry even more.
Yeah. That was me yesterday. I was a blubbering mess.
And it wasn't even because of the text message. That, I guess, is just what sent me over the edge. All the stuff....everything had just been building up all week and it finally just burst out in the middle of a dang parking lot on a Thursday afternoon.
I guess everyone needs a good cry every now and then.
I know my life could be a lot worse.
I've got it pretty good.
*sigh*
Anyway. Today is better. And tomorrow will be better than today.
I want to thank Nicole. Because her posts the last couple days have really helped put things back into prospective for me.
Today she said:
.perception and reality are two completely different things. and no matter how much you twist and manipulate the perception, the reality is always still the same. it is best to keep them as close to each other as possible.
It was just the exact thing I needed to hear.

Rainy day project

Well, i think I'm over my January blues. At least for now...the sun came out for one day last week and that made me feel better.
Now we're in for 'Storm Watch: Twenty Ten'. You know they always make such a big deal out of it when it rains here. As if it never does or something. Anyway, it's supposed to rain like heck for the next week/maybe two.
This morning we all went out to the Walmart. Why is it I always spend WAY more money when Pete comes with me? Anyway... It was storming like crazy. Big heavy raindrops, pouring and windy. Megan so desperately wanted to hold the umbrella. The dang thing just about blew her away! It was kind of funny. But I guess you had to be there.
Anyway, after lunch I decided to get the kids into a project. I got them each a paper plate and put out some acrylic paints (I chose the colors) and then cut up an old file folder into 3x4.5 inch cards. And I let them go at it with the paint.





It kept them busy for a good hour since they both had 4 cards to paint.
When they were done, Megan went down for a nap, Jake went in the garage with Pete and I started cutting some shapes with my Slice. (which, BTW, quit working right GRRRR!)
When everything was dry, and I had cut out all that I could I strung them together like this:




I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's day, but I DO like the decorations. And since Jake never brings any art work home from school, it's nice to have some kid art up around the house.
And that's what we did today.

The Doldrums.

Or: The one where I complain a lot.
Or: Why I hate January.

Let me just apologize for this post now. Before you start reading it. It's late. I'm home alone. I'm bored and....it's January. Forgive me for what you are about to read....

It's no secret that I prefer summer to winter. You know, during the holidays a little rain, a little snow, cozy sweaters and boots and comfort food is all good. It's comforting and kitschy. But after Christmas? After Christmas, I'm over it. 100% over it. Ok, I admit the first few days of January when you are all giddy with the newness of the New Year isn't bad. But for me, that giddiness wears off pretty quickly.
January is looooong. And cold. And boring. And no one wants to do anything because they're all cold and bored. And have no money cuz they spent it all on Christmas. There really does come a point were boredom takes over. It's kind of like when a kid is 'over tired' and they just act all crazy? you know? It's that. But opposite.
You come off the post holiday high to a gray let down. And around here it is literally gray. Everything is gray. It's called Tulle Fog. (too-lee) And we are in the midst of being socked in right now. We haven't seen the sun since??? Christmas??
It wears on a person. We need vitamin D, you know?
It's foggy for days and then it rains, and sometimes its foggy and rainy at the same time and then the rain stops and it's foggy some more. (pardon my run-on) Mostly it doesn't rain and it's just cold and gray without purpose.
*Side note: It really doesn't help matters that Target blinds you with bathing suits on Jan. 1. Who starts bathing suit shopping in January?? I mean, unless you're lucky enough to be vacationing in the Caribbean. It's like they're sitting back laughing at you and all your 'winter weight' and rubbing summer in your face.
At least in February we get little sneaks of spring. We might even get a day of 70* weather.
That doesn't happen in January.
And I know, I know...half the nation is in a deep freeze right now and my friends in the north don't even know what 50* in February is, let alone 70*.
I really should not be complaining.
Go ahead. Say it. Shut the heck up Corey!
There. I said it for you.
It's PMS. Or something.
No wait! It's LACK OF VITAMIN D!

This Girl

She's looking so grown up.
I love how she says girl. She says, Girrrrr with no L on the end. It's so cute.
She's my right hand man, my little partner. She spent three whole days with me before Christmas at Jake's school working in the Santa shop. She didn't whine or complain once.
I can't get over the fact that she's only 3 and I've started buying her a few things from the 'big girls' section at the store. She's so close to being too big for the toddler sizes. Well, in height only. She's still as skinny as a pencil.
She loves, loves, loves horses. Still. She loves all animals, but especially horses. Santa brought her this beautiful grand doll house. She could have cared less about it. Until I told her her horses could live there too. Now it's the coolest thing. For her birthday a few months ago, Pete's sister got her a baby doll that came with a little puppy. The baby still has all her clothes on, her shoes AND her hair isn't even messed up. The puppy, however, has lost all of it's accessories. See. She likes animals.
She loves make up, lipstick, purses and having her fingernails painted.
She likes art. She especially likes painting with water colors. She likes coloring too and is getting good at staying in the lines.
She looks and acts much older than she is. Most people we meet ask if she's in kindergarten, or if she will be starting kindergarten this year. Nope. Not even close. I still have 2 years and even then she will just have turned 5. She, like Jake, will probably be the youngest in her class.
She is funny, sassy and dramatic. Sometimes a little heavy on the drama. ;) She makes the funniest faces.
She eats like crazy. I think she might have the metabolism of an ant. Or a humming bird. Or a hollow leg. Seriously the girl can pack it in. She eats just as much, if not more, than her brother.
She still takes naps. Oh how I ♥ that she still takes naps!
She has gotten in the habit though, of waking up eeeeaaaarrrly in the morning (like 4:30 usually), walking all the way down the dark hallway to our room and knocking ever so slightly on the door. She comes in and wants to sleep with us. Jake never did that. If it's before 6 am, I tell her no and walk her back to her room and tuck her in. Surprisingly, she gives me no grief for that. Am I mean? I can't sleep when she's in there! After 6, I'm happy to snuggle with her a little :)
She's starting to play independently a little more. Which is really helpful because usually she's right next to me where ever I am. Mommy needs a little space every now and then.
She's got a memory like an elephant. She can memorize things really well. Like song lyrics, names, etc... I need to start capitalizing on that and work more on learning to spell her name, recognize and write letters.
Anyway, she's my little girrrr and I just love her. We are all so blessed.

Reflecting on 2009

Here we are again. A new year and a new decade is upon us. When I was looking through my old blog posts the other day I was struck by what I had written about the coming of 2009. I didn't quite come right out and say it, but I know...I remember, I was scared of the unknown. I really thought some things were going to come down this year and I was scared. I thought for sure we'd be moving. That was what I was most scared of, I think. The change that would mean for our family. But it never came. And it's funny how sometimes if you just let go of something, let go of the fear of it, things just tend to fall into place. We're still here, still not sure of what's to come, maybe moving, maybe not. Maybe staying in this town, maybe not. But this time...This time, I'm ok with it. This time I'm not scared. I'm looking forward to whatever 2010 brings.
As I've mentioned before, I don't really like to make resolutions. I don't like the pressure of it. Last year there were 2 non-resolutions that were really important to me. One of them was to be a better friend to those old and new and near and far. I think I did pretty good with that one. I reconnected with some old friends, made a few new ones. It's still something I need to work on though. I need to not be such a flake. I'd still like to go and see my long distance friends :) Friendship is on the top of my non-resolutions list again for 2010.
The other thing that was really important to me for 2009 was to spend more time together as a family. Luckily, this was right on the top of Pete's list too. This was actually one of the best years we'd had together as a family in a long time. With the kids being a little older, and the ranch finally established and not requiring SO much of Pete's time we were able to do so much this year. We spent many weekends together at the ranch (which is fine by me. Together is the point):


We got to go to Disneyland!!



We spent a day together at the beach:



We got in a camping trip. Fun even if it did end in pukage...and it was faa-reeezzzing cold.


We celebrated our 9th anniversary:


Spent lots of time at the pool:


Pete and I got a weekend alone in Tahoe:



Had an awesome weekend at the beach in Santa Cruz:



Went Halloween Camping for the first time:


And had a fabulous weekend in Tahoe (again!) for Thangsgiving:


Not to mention the 4 fun Christmas celebrations we just had. The photos have yet to make it to my computer though.
Hoping 2010 brings us just as much joy as 2009. :)
Happy New Year! May your year be filled with joy, happiness and many blessings! ♥♥♥

Christmas past and present

I was reading through my older blog posts the other day. It's funny to see that I seem to have the same thoughts every year. Like procrastination, panic, busy, and having to go back for just that 'one more thing'. After 3 years of blogging...wait..4?? its nice to see how some things never change. But man o man, some things really do change.
Here is a video from last Christmas. Both of the kids look really little, but Megan--jeesh she was a BABY. It's so cute, she could just barely say 'mewy kissmas':

Christmas 2008 from Corey Wilcox on Vimeo.

Here's this year: (and it's a little longer since we start going through ornaments on the tree)

Christmas 2009 from Corey Wilcox on Vimeo.

The first thing I notice is her hair. She has a TON of hair now and she's not crying every 5 seconds like she was before LOL!
Anyway, sorry that was kinda boring. And my dinner is ready so I won't bore you any longer. ;)
More in the coming days. I think.
If not we wish you all a very Merry Christmas!