Saturday, February 20, 2010


It's a constant learning experience. And seems to have to change and adapt to new things on a daily basis. Be warned...the first part of this post is a lot of crazy venting. But Pete brought me back down to Earth in the end.....
I need some honesty here people..... Is it her? Or is it my kid? I'm not sure I know anymore. I mean, I know my kid is not the golden boy. But he IS a boy and I've never met one that is perfectly behaved all of the time. I just don't think that exists. Do you? Didn't think so. Anyway, well you all remember the car scratching incident from last summer? If not read here. Oh yes...we're dealing with HER again. *ugh* i can't help it, but i really just want to scratch her eyes out. Anyway. So Jake is outside playing with the kid across the street. Since this summer, things have been much better. Jake seems to know when he just needs to leave T alone and come home. They've never really been the best of friends. They kind of are each others last resort when no one else is home. I've been very strict with Jake though, since the car incident. I really don't want him going over there. Playing in the front yard or driveway is fine, but I'm leery about letting him go in their house. I just don't feel comfortable anymore. And it seems like every time I let him, something happens. When the boys first started playing together (when they were about 4) Jake had gone over there for about an hour, came home and everything was fine. A few hours later, the mom comes knocking on my door accusing Jake of stealing the scissors that she uses to cut her kids wild mop. UH why would he do that?? I mean, kids do weird and dumb things. So yeah, ok, maybe he might of taken them. But Jake looked at her and me like we were both crazy. He didn't even know what we were talking about. There have been several other incidents like that and then the whole car thing and I was just done with it. I did however, let Jake go play with T at his house one afternoon a few weeks ago when it was raining. I gave him the strict lecture before heading out the door to be on his best behavior, clean up his mess...yadda yadda yadda... So he comes home at his required time like everything is fine. I ask him if he cleaned up his mess, he says yeah. Then low and behold 20 minutes later, here comes the mom knocking on the door saying Jake needs to come back over and clean up the mess he and T made. Seriously? Who does that?! If they are playing here and leave a mess then Jake gets to clean it up himself. Not that I don't want the other kids to help, but I realize that sometimes it just doesn't happen. They're kids.
SO TODAY Jake and T are outside playing Light Sabers and messing around in T's garage and everything seems fine. Jake comes home about an hour or so later. I ask him what's up an he just says "oh, I'm done playing". I figure ok, he must of got sick of T. *sigh* And then guess who shows up knocking on my door five minutes later?? You guessed it. The Wenchy Mom. And she's holding a cork screw/ bottle opener thingy. Maybe she just wants a glass of wine? HARDLY. Apparently, Jake was trying to cut a box with the corkscrew in their garage.
Are you as puzzled as I am about why this is such a big deal? I mean, she was pissed. And apparently she sent Jake home because of it. I mean, it's not like the thing had a knife on it. No, he probably shouldn't have been doing that. But again....they're kids. And boys to boot. You know what I'm saying? Boys are mischievous and don't always make the smartest choices. I'm sure he was just trying to make a 'ship' or some other thing that kids like to imagine a box is.
I guess what I'm asking is...Why does my kid end up in trouble every time he goes over there? If she doesn't like the kid, or doesn't like ME, then don't let him play there. I, for one, am DONE. I'm done. I'm done trying to be nice. I'm done trying to do the right thing.I'm done feeling like the black sheep of the neighborhood. I'm done lecturing my kid every time he goes out the door. I'm done listing to all her crap. He simply will not play there again.
Side note: I just had a revelation....NO WONDER why her kid is such a freaking tattle tail. BECAUSE HIS MOM IS THE BIGGEST TATTLE TAIL ON THE BLOCK!
I KNOW Jake is not a bad kid. But you know what? He feels like he is a bad kid when he gets in trouble every 5 minutes. You tell a kid they're dumb, they'll think they're dumb. You tell a kid he's bad and he's going to think he's bad.
Anyway I guess what I'm asking here is...Is there something I'm missing as a parent? Is there something I'm not saying or not doing? I know we all don't see certain things for what they really are sometimes. We all love our children and would never think of them as 'the kid you don't want to invite over'. I personally don't think my kid is that kid. I see him as a sweet, loving, smart, sometimes back talking and whining, lovable six year old kid who is thoughtful and kind most of the time. But maybe he's not? You know it usually goes like this: the kids are horrible when ever their parents are around, but awesomely behaved when they're not. Is Jake the opposite?
Leave it to Pete to put a good perspective on it. He just got home and I told him what happened. He put it simply: They just aren't raising their boy like we're raising ours. We think its awesome if Jake makes a cool boat out of a box , and if he cuts himself, well then he'll learn.
That man just tells it like it is. You want the truth? Ask Pete ;)
I'm not really here to bash any one's parenting skills or methods. We all do things differently. And this is a learning opportunity for me too.
And I guess that's all I have to say about that.


CAmport said...

Next time her little brat comes looking for someone to play with, I'd march him back over and say, "Excuse me, your child is bothering us. Please don't allow him to bang on our door." What a lunatic. Be done with her and her stank kid.

I've met Jake. If I thought he was bad, I just wouldn't say anything at all. He is a GREAT kid and you are a great mom. Seriously, he is so much like Simon. My kids always get "crafty" when they find tools in the garage. Who's drinking in the garage anyways? Does mommy have a hidden stash behind the lawn mower?

Waste of time! I'm glad Pete is there to reassure you that it's NOT you and it's NOT Jake. That woman seems like something else and if the situation should arise, you need to give her what for and let that red hair FLY!


Kimberly White said...

I'm always trying to be a better Mama .... but in the end I really believe God gives us the wisdom we need to parent the kids we have. You know Jake ... and I think staying far far away from that woman is the best (she sounds scary!!!

Melissa said...

Stay away from the lady. It will be hard on Jake to not play with his friend, but seriously, she seems to find (and seek) fault with him all the time!

I like what Pete had to say. He's a smart one. I have to deal with that on a regular basis now that I am watching a friends child 4 days a week. They have COMPLETLY different parenting skills and common sense to me is not to them. I feel for their child and know that at least 4 days a week I am doing what I can to nurture her in the way I can.

Maybe it will hold her off from needing therapy a bit longer....

nicole said...

I agree - that lady sounds crazy!!

My two cents - it sounds like Jake is alot like my boys - and lets face it boys can get into trouble - but not trouble that requires a neighbor to tattle - i mean really she must have bigger problems that what a little boy is doing right?! and if she has kids herself does she not see how ALL kids are - they are kids..and learning and good examples of what to do in those situations - which is obviously not what she is doing.
ok now i'm steaming just thinking about this lady....
wish you didn't have to deal with her - but try to turn it into a bigger teaching moment with jake - that her behavior is not how adults should act ;)

hope things get better!

Anonymous said...

The woman points a finger a Jake because she refuses to see her own children for what they truly are. Jake is an easy mark for her and he does not need to be subjected to further harrassment. If she is stupid enough to leave a corkscrew in the frig where the kids can get to it then there's no telling what other stupid stunts she's capable of. STAY AWAY! Jake is an extreamly smart, loving (not to mention adorable) child who just wants to have fun with his friends, but these are not the kind of friends he needs. Point him in the other direction because that woman spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E!
xoxo, Mom

Brown English Muffin said...

Firstly I say T needs to come over your house more often and not have Jake go over there as much, I don't trust that woman at all.

Secondly and I'm being honest just because I feel we at least have that much of a friendship/aquaintance that I can be frank and you not get pissed, but Jake should have told you she asked him to leave as opposed to "oh, I'm done playing" that would have at least prepared you for the knock on the door and gave you time to get Jakes side of the story.

Thirdly just because I want to be funny here, Jake probably used the cork screw because he remembered how much drama ensued from the damn scissors from the last time! Jake probably wanted to use the scissors to cut that damn box but said "Heck no, I'm not touching those again!"
Lastly I 100% agree with you in the cutting himself and learning in the long as Baby C isn't going to put herself in the hospital "Go ahead and touch that hot bowl, even though I told you not to, until you touch and realize how damn hot it is, it's going to tempt you anyway, and how else are you going to learn".

P.S. When I'll send my list of questions over to Pete to answer the truth on in a little bit!! :0)

P.P.S I hate tattle tailing kids as well, sometimes the neighbors kid comes over and tattle tails on Baby C and I'm not saying either that Baby C is an angel but "Sweet heart if she's doing that much to you that you have to keep coming and telling me then maybe you might want to think about going home so she won't bother you so much?"