Wednesday, April 30, 2008

ahh..where to begin?

So, obviously I just haven't been blogging. Why? I don't know. It's kind of one of those things that once you's like really hard to get back into. That and the fact that I just really have nothing interesting to talk about. And I feel like it would be pointless and boring for me to post about the weather, the never ending incessant crazy ass wind we have here. I mean, come don't want to know about the gale force you? I didn't think so.
Truth is...I've been a teensy bit stressed the past few days.Things have been building and building and just coming to a head. The last 2 years have been nothing but ups and downs..and unfortunately a lot more downs. Let me brake it down: Starting a business, having a baby (a wonderful, beautiful baby I absolutely would never ever regret...but having a baby and starting a business at the same time is stressful!), financial distress, going back to work, changing jobs, the loss of my grandma, lots of time alone, more financial distress, still trying to start a business and losing a job. It all really comes down to one thing: Financial distress. And really, me losing my job has nothing to do with it. It's there and has been there for a long time. Me working or not working really makes no difference. When i was working all my money was going right back out anyway. So you know... All these things have just been building and building inside of me. I'm the ultimate procrastinator, or avoider more like it. I'm so Scarlet O'Hara: "I'll think about that tomorrow". Isn't that what she the wake of a burning Tara? Well I just can't do that anymore. I can't keep pushing things out of my mind. I really just want to curl up in a ball and make it all go away and let everything crumble around me. But that's not going to happen. I honestly wish I was 7 years old again. Is there nothing better than being 7? Anyway..I just am tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of the up and down yo-yo tug of war.
I know...this is just life. I'm not the only one with problems. Most are way bigger than mine. I have a neighbor--30 year old single mother of 2---dieing of cancer. Yeah. What the heck am I whining about?
Can you tell this is all just random stuff coming out of my brain?
SO. What am I going to to about it? #1 Take control. #2 one step at a time, dig my/our way out. #3 pray for guidance. That's all I can do.
Tomorrow: Post again. And no whining this time.
Sorry for the pitty party. But this is me. This is what's going on in my head right now.


Jude said...

I am sorry your are stressed Corey. I really do understand. It is sad how crazy money woes can make us so stressed out. Hang in there, and I will be praying for you!

camport said...

Y'know what? We get it! We have all been there/are there/will be there soon. It will be okay. And it's fine to be a little Scarlet every once in a while. B/c the problems will still be there tomorrow, might as well enjoy today.

There's really nothing you can do about it, unless you have no moral objection to bank robbery or insurance fraud. I don't know how we get through it, but somehow we{meaning a universal 'we'} always do. Life goes on, bills go unpaid, checks bounce, it's just life on earth.

Cling to the promises and try to look at things in the light of eternity. That's about the only thing that works for me. What does a late car payment matter in the long run? God knows our needs. Read Matt. 6 & Luke 12 any time you start to worry. It helps for me.

Call if you need to chat!


Melissa said...

I second what Chrissy says...
Sometimes it helps putting it out into the great big world. Getting it off your chest. It's refreshing sort of.

I'm always here to chat :)

nicole said...

totally understand your feelings too...and it is funny - but most of the time just putting it down makes me feel better about it all...and then you can get so many "me toos" which makes you realize everyone has been there too and that also seems to make it better.
Hope that things come back around for you soon...i'm thinking of you!