Parenting.

It's a constant learning experience. And seems to have to change and adapt to new things on a daily basis. Be warned...the first part of this post is a lot of crazy venting. But Pete brought me back down to Earth in the end.....
I need some honesty here people..... Is it her? Or is it my kid? I'm not sure I know anymore. I mean, I know my kid is not the golden boy. But he IS a boy and I've never met one that is perfectly behaved all of the time. I just don't think that exists. Do you? Didn't think so. Anyway, well you all remember the car scratching incident from last summer? If not read here. Oh yes...we're dealing with HER again. *ugh* i can't help it, but i really just want to scratch her eyes out. Anyway. So Jake is outside playing with the kid across the street. Since this summer, things have been much better. Jake seems to know when he just needs to leave T alone and come home. They've never really been the best of friends. They kind of are each others last resort when no one else is home. I've been very strict with Jake though, since the car incident. I really don't want him going over there. Playing in the front yard or driveway is fine, but I'm leery about letting him go in their house. I just don't feel comfortable anymore. And it seems like every time I let him, something happens. When the boys first started playing together (when they were about 4) Jake had gone over there for about an hour, came home and everything was fine. A few hours later, the mom comes knocking on my door accusing Jake of stealing the scissors that she uses to cut her kids wild mop. UH why would he do that?? I mean, kids do weird and dumb things. So yeah, ok, maybe he might of taken them. But Jake looked at her and me like we were both crazy. He didn't even know what we were talking about. There have been several other incidents like that and then the whole car thing and I was just done with it. I did however, let Jake go play with T at his house one afternoon a few weeks ago when it was raining. I gave him the strict lecture before heading out the door to be on his best behavior, clean up his mess...yadda yadda yadda... So he comes home at his required time like everything is fine. I ask him if he cleaned up his mess, he says yeah. Then low and behold 20 minutes later, here comes the mom knocking on the door saying Jake needs to come back over and clean up the mess he and T made. Seriously? Who does that?! If they are playing here and leave a mess then Jake gets to clean it up himself. Not that I don't want the other kids to help, but I realize that sometimes it just doesn't happen. They're kids.
SO TODAY Jake and T are outside playing Light Sabers and messing around in T's garage and everything seems fine. Jake comes home about an hour or so later. I ask him what's up an he just says "oh, I'm done playing". I figure ok, he must of got sick of T. *sigh* And then guess who shows up knocking on my door five minutes later?? You guessed it. The Wenchy Mom. And she's holding a cork screw/ bottle opener thingy. Maybe she just wants a glass of wine? HARDLY. Apparently, Jake was trying to cut a box with the corkscrew in their garage.
Are you as puzzled as I am about why this is such a big deal? I mean, she was pissed. And apparently she sent Jake home because of it. I mean, it's not like the thing had a knife on it. No, he probably shouldn't have been doing that. But again....they're kids. And boys to boot. You know what I'm saying? Boys are mischievous and don't always make the smartest choices. I'm sure he was just trying to make a 'ship' or some other thing that kids like to imagine a box is.
I guess what I'm asking is...Why does my kid end up in trouble every time he goes over there? If she doesn't like the kid, or doesn't like ME, then don't let him play there. I, for one, am DONE. I'm done. I'm done trying to be nice. I'm done trying to do the right thing.I'm done feeling like the black sheep of the neighborhood. I'm done lecturing my kid every time he goes out the door. I'm done listing to all her crap. He simply will not play there again.
Side note: I just had a revelation....NO WONDER why her kid is such a freaking tattle tail. BECAUSE HIS MOM IS THE BIGGEST TATTLE TAIL ON THE BLOCK!
I KNOW Jake is not a bad kid. But you know what? He feels like he is a bad kid when he gets in trouble every 5 minutes. You tell a kid they're dumb, they'll think they're dumb. You tell a kid he's bad and he's going to think he's bad.
Anyway I guess what I'm asking here is...Is there something I'm missing as a parent? Is there something I'm not saying or not doing? I know we all don't see certain things for what they really are sometimes. We all love our children and would never think of them as 'the kid you don't want to invite over'. I personally don't think my kid is that kid. I see him as a sweet, loving, smart, sometimes back talking and whining, lovable six year old kid who is thoughtful and kind most of the time. But maybe he's not? You know it usually goes like this: the kids are horrible when ever their parents are around, but awesomely behaved when they're not. Is Jake the opposite?
Leave it to Pete to put a good perspective on it. He just got home and I told him what happened. He put it simply: They just aren't raising their boy like we're raising ours. We think its awesome if Jake makes a cool boat out of a box , and if he cuts himself, well then he'll learn.
That man just tells it like it is. You want the truth? Ask Pete ;)
I'm not really here to bash any one's parenting skills or methods. We all do things differently. And this is a learning opportunity for me too.
And I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Normal.

I'm up in the middle of the night with excruciating pain in my left ear. Oh my gosh...i don't think I've ever experienced any thing quite like this! The whole side of my head is throbbing. Ear infection?? I don't know, but I'm waiting for the pain meds to kick in so I can maybe sleep. Then I guess I need to go see the dr. in the morning. Blah.
Anyway.....besides that, we had a great weekend. Dare I say it was "normal"? What is normal anyway? Well for us, the last 3 or 4 years, our normal has been much different that what I imagine other families are like. Our normal has been: Daddy gone all weekend and mommy and kids at home doing pretty much nothing. All that has been basically because of the ranch. The business required so much of Pete's time, that he just wasn't here. Sure, we'd go up there with him occasionally, but most of the time not. I got very used to being alone Friday and Saturday nights. Sitting up by myself, crafting or watching movies or both. I know it might seem bad to say, but I got very used to him not being here. I got used to being alone.
So a couple of weeks ago, Pete decided he'd had enough. There were several events that sort of led up to it. Not only did the ranch take up a lot of his time, but it was extremely stressful for him too. The maintenance alone, would drive someone insane. (he was working a regular job 4 days a week and then doing the ranch the other 3) One good thing would happen, and then 10 bad things would follow it. It just wasn't working. It wasn't working for him, and it certainly wasn't working for our family. In order to make it work the way he thought it should be, he basically would have had to let his family go. AND HE WASN'T/ISN'T WILLING TO DO THAT. Thank God. And so.....that part of our life is basically over. It's sort of sad. Especially after all the blood, sweat and tears that went into building the place.....and the memories that were created there for our family. But it's sort of a relief too. I know it's a big weight off his shoulders. But it's still been a little hard for him to completely let it go. I should mention that he's still running a business. He's still a hunting guide and that will still occupy some of his time, but we won't be dealing with that ranch anymore and so it's kind of a win-win for him. He still gets to do what he loves, it just won't be quite as stressful and it definitely won't take up nearly as much time. I'd say that's win-win for all of us :)
Anyway, so back to "normal"..... This weekend was not anything like the normal we were used to. But it was normal in the sense that we did normal things. And it was great. Friday night Pete and I had a date! Which, i don't think we've done in years. Probably not since Megan was born. Really. We went to Olive Garden for dinner and then to the movies. Saw Avitar and it was better than I expected. AND we were out till 11pm! OMG! It was like we were kids again! ha! Saturday Pete met a friend for breakfast and ran some errands in the morning and in the afternoon we were all home, with a house full of kids (nieces were here) and we just played. Normal! AND THEN we all went out to dinner again and went to the mall (I never go to the mall!) to buy me a new set of knives for Valentines day. Probably not so normal, but we were all together as a family, hanging out.....together! AND THEN Sunday we all got up and went to church. Together! Sunday afternoon, my mom came down and spent the night with us. Not normal, but still awesome :)
So, it felt good to just be home and be together. The eating out {and may i just interject that I didn't cheat once on my diet and skipped the movie popcorn!} and movies isn't really necessary, but was a nice bonus! I'm hoping for more of these "normal" weekends to come. :)
And now I better be off to bed. It seems the pain meds have kicked in and I better get some sleep before my ear is throbbing again!

Tuesday. bullet points.

*the picture really has nothing to do with this post but they are my kids and i think they are cute :)
*i am ok. good in fact. i know my last few posts have been a leeeettle bit heavy and depressing and negative. we'll just call that The Dark Period. and it is over. nothing a little bit of sunshine couldn't fix.
*it's still been raining here. a lot. but luckily it feels a tiny bit more spring like simply because the days/hours in between the rain have been dotted with sunshine. like liquid gold, i tell ya! fog is just depressing and oppressing, man.
*i have been focused. very, very focused (obsessive almost) the last 15 days. part of the 'slap in the face reality check' i got in my last post was the scale. ugh. i finally bought a bathroom scale. i got on it. and it was not pretty. like, i almost fainted when i saw the number. i probably threw up in my mouth a little bit. it was bad. i mean, i knew things were fitting a little tight....but seeing the actual number about brought me to my knees. it did bring me to tears.
*i went straight out and joined weight watchers and bought the 30 day shred dvd. I've been hitting my points, and 'shredding it' for the past 15 days. Sometimes i do the shred dvd 2ce a day and pilates in between. i'm insane, aren't i?? i think it's called desperate.
*i've lost 6lbs so far. many, many more to go. i'm not telling how many. but i'll let you know when i get there.
*we went to a really fun super bowl party on sunday. i kinda didn't really want to go. well, i did. i just thought i wasn't going to want to stay the whole time. turns out my social anxiety lost out and i had lots of fun. and didn't want to go when the game was over. :)
*there were a couple people there that i knew of, but didn't really know personally. and i will totally admit my judging a book by it's cover. i am soooo guilty of doing that. you know how women can be. turns out things aren't always what they seem. (DUH!) and i met two really nice people.
*during the game the kids were outside playing and riding motorcycles. (it's still light here when games come on!)
*right before Christmas we were at a friends house riding motorcycles and while Jake really liked it, he was super scared to do it on his own. sunday i was sitting in the house watching the game. i knew the kids were ridding, but i had no idea what Jake was doing. (i'm a great mother!) anyway, i stepped out onto the front porch to watch and all of a sudden i see my kid blazing sown the street all by himself! i could not believe it! it looked like he'd been doing it his whole life.
*now for the past 2 days he has talked about nothing except riding motorcycles. and when is he going to get his own motorcycle? and when can he go back to auntie kim's to ride the motorcycle?
*i think we've created a monster.

And that's about it. well, there is more..but i'm thinking it may require it's own post and i need to gather my thoughts on it a little more before writing.
Happy Tuesday.